Does Love Liberate Our Being?

Café-Salon Philosophique #12

Saturday, April 18, 1998

No. of Participants: 30

Topic for the evening's discussion: "Does love liberate our being? How do we understand this basic concept of love?"

Samuel started the evening by greeting participants to our new gathering place at Barnes & Nobles Bookstore located at 2915 Pearl St., Boulder, CO. We would like to take this opportunity to say thank you to Jennifer Wolf and Jackie for their warm welcome and for hosting Cafe-Salon Philosophique.

Stan was then asked to read the Cafe Philosophique Guidelines which are intended to bring the group's focus to the topic at hand and to remind us of simple courtesies when participating in a group setting.

Samuel began the evening's topic by asking us to, "Define what love is." John defined love as an "energy or an essence" that he feels present. He and his lady friend spoke of love being when "one is in a harmonious relationship with all things in the world multi-dimensionally" (spiritual, physical, mental). "Love flows through as conscious or unconscious acts."

Someone asked John to further define what he meant by harmonious. He stated that "harmony can be achieved when one is in accord and congruent with surrounding life," or in other words, "when one has a sympathetic resonance with everything."

One person stated love to be "a state of mind or a feeling." One asked, "Could love be described as an action, a noun or a concept?" Many answered that the feeling of love cannot be categorized.

Alison stated that "love is a peaceful state." Another thought that love can be "intoxicating or even a euphoric moment." Carolyn stated that "we could learn alot about love through observing animals."

Someone then asked, "What about the connection between sex and love?" We then differentiated between love and sex and the general consensus was, that "love is alot more than sex." One participant stated that "he'd rather be doing other things than having sex."

Marilyn shared that for her, after one critical episode in her life, she was able to see and feel "love radiating from all things in life." (flowers, trees, leaves, signs, people etc.) She considered this love.

Samuel stated that in Hebrew, the word for love is "Ahava," meaning the ultimate essence of life being contained in the ultimate essence of ALL life.

This sparked one participant to state that love is expansive. This kind of love is when a person is able to live up and beyond one's "own little world." The same participant also stated that this kind of love is done with "beneficence" meaning, "with loving kindness, goodness, charity and reverence." This type of love is often described as love used in the service to mankind.

Another thought love might be "an energy which is generated towards something specifically in life." Giving love to specific objects such as money, materialism, other people, the self, etc. Marjorie stated love another way by saying, "love is circular and can exist in everything that is contained and practiced."

Samuel reminded us, that in order to really know the essence of love, we have to first rid ourselves of stupid and selfish individual beliefs which separate us, isolate, and alienate us from the rest of the world.

We need to expand our mind, vision and focus to include what is happening to our neighbor, what is happening to mankind and what is happening in the world. And just how can we make a difference that will benefit all of mankind?

Cafe Philsophique has addressed this subject before by discussing that in this world of 6 billion people, the real way to make a difference is working towards creating beneficial change of the self through relearning the true essence of the body in order to live life fully. So how does one do this?

One must find the right path, the right teacher and commit to conscious effort towards rediscovering the true joy of living as a person here on Earth. One must be open to change, willing to be honest with the self and recognize that maybe the way we think and do in the world is not really how to tap into the true potential of our "self."

This calls for personal honesty and responsibility in looking at how we perform daily acts consciously or unconsciously. One must become aware of what they do in life and realize that this has a rippling effect on all of surrounding life, like a stone or pebble thrown into the water.

Samuel then discussed how humans have the tendency to knowingly or unknowingly imprison themselves through limited thinking and doing, by allowing others to control, program or manipulate the way that they live life in the world today.

One participant strongly disagreed and didn't even want to possibly think of himself as being in a "prison" of sorts. Many participants just listened and it appeared that others might not want to even think of the possibility of there being some aspect of love missing in their life.

Samuel then asked us "How can love liberate our being?" One stated, "through expansion." No one really shared how we could expand our realm of love. But just how does one expand and break through perceived notions and limitations? A good thought to ponder.

Samuel then stated that, "when you love, there is no because." He gave the example of asking a small child whether or not they love their mommy. He described how they get a look on their face, "like you big dummy, are you crazy?" because they never doubt that they love that other person.

Marta brought up a good point that "love sometimes can seem restrictive because of physical ailments of the self or loved ones, financial burdens and even years of child rearing." She further stated that, "love can then take on a form of duty, responsibility and/or commitment to other people, places and/or organizations over a period of time." The group then shared stories of commitments to people, places, animals, etc.

Samuel then wanted us to stop and consider, if it is possible to "love all of mankind?" Some immediately said, yes, but Samuel wanted us to stop and think about what we were saying. Do we really know what quality of living is? Do we truly and honestly know how to love and embrace all of life? He also challenged us to think beyond scientific analysis - To speak from the heart.

Conversation then moved to dog owners giving examples of love by elaborating on the "unconditional love" that their dogs "give to them." We heard stories of faithfulness, loyalty and "perceived" affection that dogs have for their masters.

Someone then bounced to the subject of love in a marriage. Someone asked, "does marriage restrict one's ability to love other people and things in life?" A number of people said "no." Many agreed that in a marriage if there are mutual interests, there tends to be more room for joy and harmony in life.

Many believed that marriage can keep the individual restricted in discovering things about themselves because "they don't have the time or energy" to make the effort towards developing talents of their own.

In many cultures, women learn to be submissive to their husbands and end up loosing their own identity by conforming to the man's way of thinking and doing. This restrictive behavior, alot of times, keeps one from developing hidden talents and impedes use of creative energies because, "everybody else and everything else comes first."

Gene elaborated on restrictive behavior by describing how he thinks people "use fear to keep themselves distance from other people and things, therefore, never truly embracing real love." Samuel added that fear can paralyze people from changing. Also, many inner doors can be kept closed and true selves never revealed for fear that others may know them, OR EVEN WORSE, that we may know ourselves!

There is a responsiblity that comes with truly loving the self and all things. One must learn to become their own authority in life. One needs to slow down in order to focus on taking the steps necesssary to make positive changes in one's life. This requires dedication, perserverance, patience and Love for the self.

Samuel concluded the group discussion by having each person present share what Love was to them. Group members described Love as, "a presence," "a feeling," "flow," "harmony," "connection," "being in the moment," "a state of being," "overwhelming," "expansion and beneficence," "spontaneous," "a shimmery being," "never having to say you're sorry," "golden goodness," "connection," "inexpressable emotion," "ditto," "elevating the experience beyond the self," "goodness," "ultimate human expression," "open to the self," "peaceful satisfaction."

Samuel then had us consider "each gem" that was given by each person and imagine sewing it together with needle and thread. What we would then find is a beautiful epic poem of love.

Samuel concluded with asking the group, "If it was worth being here tonight?" This was received with a round of applause. Discussion was very lively and well-blended with humor. We appreciate the gathering of intelligent beings who came to share in tonight's topic and look forward to the next meeting of Cafe-Salon Philosophique which will be Saturday, May 9, 1998 at Barnes & Noble, 2915 Pearl St., Boulder, CO. Start time - 7:30 p.m.

The evening's topic will be: "What is the reason for my existence? What purpose does God have in my life? What is the point of my being alive? What is the basis of this urge, or from where does this urge arise? Is there a biological reason for this or is it a message from God?"

Reported by Alessandra